What homesick feels like

It hits you when you least expect it.  It happened today when I was waiting for my lunch takeout order.  It is a silent pang that stabs your heart.  An invisible force that shoves your soul.  I saw a young woman with her grandma.

And that was all it took.

My mom have never been to California.  I don’t think she’s ever been in any state other than New York.  I wish she would come out here to visit me.  I can show her the kind of life I’m living.  The daily sights I see.  I want the brilliant hot sun to kiss her.  She would hate it though.

I wish I can point things out to her.  That’s the Golden Gate Bridge.  This is my favorite dim sum spot.  This is where I get my coffee in the morning.  This is the path I walk to get to work.  This is the view I see when I wake up.  This is my cat, no worries, she sleeps in the yard.  Look how clean my kitchen is.  I have real food in the fridge.  I even started boiling water so I can fill my water bottle.  I thought it was the dumbest thing for her wake up at 6am to boil water everyday.  She used to fill my water bottle.

I needed to move away from home to miss home.  If I was still living at home, I would still be that entitled, spoiled brat and I would have hated her.

My order was ready and I decided to stay and eat instead.  I found a seat and I ate alone.  I thought about her and everything she’s done so that I can be in this moment.  I enjoyed my meal and I felt a little less lonely.

feel free to share your thoughts :)