It hits you when you least expect it. It happened today when I was waiting for my lunch takeout order. It is a silent pang that stabs your heart. An invisible force that shoves your soul. I saw a young woman with her grandma.
And that was all it took.
My mom have never been to California. I don’t think she’s ever been in any state other than New York. I wish she would come out here to visit me. I can show her the kind of life I’m living. The daily sights I see. I want the brilliant hot sun to kiss her. She would hate it though.
I wish I can point things out to her. That’s the Golden Gate Bridge. This is my favorite dim sum spot. This is where I get my coffee in the morning. This is the path I walk to get to work. This is the view I see when I wake up. This is my cat, no worries, she sleeps in the yard. Look how clean my kitchen is. I have real food in the fridge. I even started boiling water so I can fill my water bottle. I thought it was the dumbest thing for her wake up at 6am to boil water everyday. She used to fill my water bottle.
I needed to move away from home to miss home. If I was still living at home, I would still be that entitled, spoiled brat and I would have hated her.
My order was ready and I decided to stay and eat instead. I found a seat and I ate alone. I thought about her and everything she’s done so that I can be in this moment. I enjoyed my meal and I felt a little less lonely.