Twice this week, someone mentioned Venus retrograde and I felt inspired to write my thoughts on this topic.
I have to come out the closet and let you guys know that I am a bit of an astrology junkie. The aspect of astrology I’m interested in is the energetic readings of people based on their signs, not that it defines them, but it’s a good way to understand people. Astrology is not used to predict the future. Rather, it can be used to understand the overall current feelings of experiences and what one can learn from it.
So what is Venus retrograde? As each planet orbit the sun, they travel at different speeds depending on a variety of factors. When a planet is retrograding, it does not mean it is going backwards. It just so happens that relative to our planet Earth, Venus appears to be going backwards because of the difference in speed as Earth and Venus pass each other. Imagine two trains traveling on parallel tracks, the train that is slower will appear to be going the opposite direction in relation to the train going at a faster pace.
So how does this affect us humans on Earth? Since Venus is the planet of relationships, love and beauty, we are put into situations that make us reevaluate all of those aspects in our lives. There is chaos. It is a time for removal of toxicity, especially in regards to relationships, either friendships or romantic partnerships. There is also union. When Venus goes slowwww mo, how we feel is amplified and we begin to see clearly.
As for me…
I just got engaged last weekend 🙂 Without even realizing that Venus was in retrograde, I’ve been experiencing a huge calling to reevaluate my own beliefs in regards to relationships.
I began to let go of expectations and learned to observe, more closely than ever, what the heck about the way he is reacting that’s bothering me.
- What are my expectations and how can I shift from a place of demands, expectations to acceptance and understanding?
- How can I hold onto what I desire so much without pressuring him to deliver it to me?
- How can I love him freely? Without compromising my own desires?
A few days before he proposed to me, I had ordered a ring on etsy for myself.
I was going through such a huge inner battle that morning. It was because he didn’t say, “I love you” in a way that was sweet, it was rushed and I felt unvalued. He left for work, leaving me in a complete chaos of my own emotions. Trust me, it’s always stupid shit like this that escalates.
Instead complaining about how he didn’t do something right and making him understand why his failure to meet my expectations hurt me, I let it all go in complete surrender. What is it that I really wanted him to understand is what I need myself to understand. This was the pattern in all of my past romantic relationships. I needed to feel whole, valued, special, loved on some level if I can GET HIM to get me. And it is precisely this yearning that is NOT making me feel whole, valued, special, loved. And he is only reflecting exactly the energy I am giving off. I stopped trying to GET HIM and I channeled all of the love back into me.
Does a flower need an admirer to feel beautiful? Does a diamond seek attention in order to keep sparkling? I need to step into that space of power of just being valuable. Without me ever having to question it or doubt my own value, worth or require external approval.
That is Venus. The power of Goddess energy. Shakti.
That was when I decided to order a ring for myself. I requested the seller to engrave, “seek me, my love” inside the ring. So it can remind me to seek me, my own love, compassion, understanding. To remind me that I am my own love.
Ruptures in relationships function to mirror to you exactly where you are. Instead of trying to keep improving myself for him to get me, I should have loved me. But of course, I wouldn’t have known that then. Even though on the surface it may all appear to be the same action- whether it’s working out, reading books, doing yoga, etc.- the shift in consciousness makes all the difference, from performing these “self-loving” actions from a toxic perspective or from a loving one. I invite you to think about the current actions you’re doing to gain love externally and transform that action into an act of devotion, one of true self love.
By giving myself space to feel the disappointment when things don’t happen my way without placing blame or criticism on anyone else, I will accept my emotions, by doing so, I accept me unconditionally. I tried so hard to observe and observe, even when every cell of my body wants me to react, but I hold onto my power by not reacting to every single bloody compulsion to express anger and force my desires onto my partner. I flood every cell in my being with compassion.
By stepping into a space of observation of the situation rather than engaging or investing more into negative feelings that arise, I am giving myself the understanding that I so so so so crave from him. Our relationship have improved so much within the past month. My words have been kinder, I have created space for him to express without his hesitation that it might not please me. I’ve replaced criticisms with an open heart of safety. Not because I’m trying to please him, but because that’s me stepping into who I really am, infinite love, my divine feminine.
Thanks for reading, I hope this post reaches the right people who needs this message!