Today I woke up feeling warm. The kind of warmth that makes you want to stay in bed a little longer. Some light enters through the blinds, brightening up the whole bedroom with shades of dim natural lighting. I don’t have to fight myself to get up today. On colder days, I have to fight, and I lose even if I win because I fought. Today feels like a winning kind of day. I like this. I need to wake up every day like this.
I think it’s because I went to bed peacefully. No struggling as well. I did some stretches on my purple yoga mat last night. I cat and cow-ed my way to drowsiness.
Beside me is F. The smell of him. Just the smell of him. So familiar.
Work enters my brain and I dread it a little. Work needs me though. I should get up. I roll over a bit and flop my arm on the big human body next to me. A little groan of acknowledgement of my love comes out of him. When I think of F as a big human body, I am filled with gratitude. This human shared my bed the whole night with me and now we’re alive and smushed together. And I smell him.
After 10 more minutes of losing track of time together, we decided it’s time.
I sit up.
He stretches around in bed.
Goals goals goals, I thought to myself.
San Diego. In a beach house. Our beach house. Waking up with this feeling every day with the same kind of natural lighting filling up our bedroom. We will have an actual bed. Our yard cat, Yoga can be an indoor cat there. I will wake up and want to get to work. And my work would be my own business. I’ll get there. Not sure what business yet. I’ll have a business and I’ll teach group fitness classes and I’ll be wide awake.
I’m still just sitting there on my bed but I already feel more purposeful.
Question for you:
How do you feel first thing in the morning? Why do you think that is?