Dreaming bigger

San Diego, beach, hike, trail
georgeous beach + hiking trail in San Diego. pic taken by me

I realized I need to dream bigger.  And simply thinking about it isn’t enough.  It’s been a year since I’ve relocated to the west coast, I’ve experienced so many changes, personal and externally. I wished I had started writing sooner so you would know all about it.  I was kind of emotionally unstable, it was a very hard adjustment.  Native New Yorkers are not very adaptable, they’re the most spoiled people ever (haha!) Any New Yorker who disagrees are people who have never lived anywhere else!

Growing up, I didn’t have  a specific goal to work towards, other than to graduate school.  First high school, then college.  It was always an academic goal and I never had any career goals other than to find a job after.  Pretty  lame right?

When I got exactly what I wanted and it wasn’t enough.  “To find a job” is the worse goal ever.  Also because I made finding a job so much more difficult that it really is.  Perhaps it’s because I was in college from 2007-2011; all the news on economic crisis  and the deteriorating job market really influenced the way I thought about the adult world.  I really thought I was not going to find a job after graduation.

Well I did.  And I found another one after that too.  But they were just jobs.  I got exactly what I looked for.  I did get experiences out of them.  They weren’t high paying and I didn’t have the mentality to make much out of it, career wise.

So I moved to the west coast.  Yes, I had a boyfriend who also wanted to move too.  A lot of people like to diminish my decision to move by saying, “you moved for him.”  We moved together, he just took a head start.  I moved with the intention of bettering myself, exposing myself to a new lifestyle, new friends, adventures, a new job, one that I would like.  I wanted to find my calling.

I still don’t think I have a career goal now.  But I do have lifestyle goals and I’m willing to take the steps to create that lifestyle.  A career mindset, from a New Yorker’s understanding of it was never something I possessed.  I tried it.  A job is just not for me anymore.  A corporate ladder isn’t something I can ever get myself to climb.

So, what lifestyle do I want?  Honestly, I don’t want to work!  haha!  I’m not afraid to admit that.  Honestly, who wouldn’t want to vacation all the time, live everyday like it’s the weekend.  Yet it is frowned upon to have such desires because others are afraid you can actually achieve them and they can’t.  My lifestyle will be me teaching fitness classes while running my own business and doing my personal writing on the side.

We will see where that takes me.  It’ll be something I’ll do to have steady income and also enjoy it.   I want to enjoy life, I don’t want to do something only for a paycheck anymore.  To be clear, it’s that I’m not enjoying my current job, it’s just not where I envision myself for the next few decades and the time I’m spending in the office is too valuable for me to continue living this way.  I shouldn’t take away other people’s shot at their career goals by applying to positions that do not excite me.

Question for you:

What would you rather be doing right now?

feel free to share your thoughts :)