Quitting my job and surrendering my control

Happy Friday!

I submitted my 2 weeks notice last week, Wednesday, August 3.  My last day is next Wednesday, August 17.  The act of quitting was very difficult for me.  I am not good at disturbing the peace.  I value harmony.  Probably because I try my best to make sure everyone maintains a good version of me, even if that means concealing my emotions and authenticity.  I don’t know, but quitting was something I had to do, there was really no escaping it.  I felt like I’m disappointing my colleagues.  But it went very well, everyone took it well and was happy for me.  People were excited.  It’s really not that bad to put myself first and to speak my truth that I’m ready to move on. I can’t believe I actually had such silly worries!  Trust me, the few days before the day I planned on quitting, I was an emotional mess.

But I’m back! And stronger than ever!

I do not have a job lined up and everyone seems to be worried for me.  But I’m not worried at all.  In such a masculine, forward thinking, ambition driven, goal-getter, money making world, my total unconcerned attitude is a threat to “reality.”

The thing is, I’ve tried the path of living in fear and job searching from a mental state of lacking and desperation.  I’ve tried the path of settling for anything that pays.  I’ve tried the path of networking and impressing and allowing my boundaries to be crossed for the sake of a job.  Life hardly ever go as planned.  Thank God it didn’t or else I would not even be living in California, so far away from home!  So fuck the planning.  Screw stirring your life in the direction of what’s socially normal/right/acceptable.  What I haven’t tried is following my happiness and allowing myself to live life in the very moment it unfolds.

I have a body that I have gotten to know and trust with all my heart to help me get through anything.  I have intelligence that will serve me when the time is right.  I have a big kind heart that will resonate with the people I’m supposed to meet.  I have a wonderful partner who loves me, supports me and is unquestionably faithful to me.  I have a wonderful parents who raised me from nothing.  I have siblings whom I trust my life with.  I have friends who see me for me and accepts me unconditionally.  I have my cat.  I have a car.  I have some money.  I can make more money with some money.  I have enthusiasm that is ready to explode.  And last but not least, I have love.

Yaaaaaa, I’ll let you know how it goes 🙂

San Diego, here I come!

 

2 thoughts on “Quitting my job and surrendering my control

  1. Marge, I am so excited and happy for you! I know this is exactly what you wanted. You’re gna love the weather and maybe even pick up surfing? Yay! Can’t wait to visit you too!

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