The tv is on. We’re on the couch. He’s watching his car videos on youtube and I’m just watching him. He laughs at the dumb joke made by the commentator.
He’s unaware that I’m just watching him. That’s how absorbed he is when he’s watching his car stuff. He’s at complete bliss. There’s not a single worry in his mind. His chest rises gently from his breathing. He’s here next to me, yet so far away. This is as close to him as I can get. Light flickers in his eyes. His eyelashes are so short and it points straight out. I want to touch the tips of eyelashes. I want to disturb him so badly but I shouldn’t. His guard is down. This is him in his natural state.
Why am I just watching him? Does he watch me when I’m completely unaware? What does he think of my nose? I have a weird nose. I think his nose is perfect. I think he is perfect. His chest continues to rise and fall.
He glances over and catches me. My heart breaks a little bit knowing that I interrupted his bliss. He gives me a weird look and looks back at the tv. It’s probably not the first time that he caught me studying him. He’s probably thinking, Oh, that’s just Margaret, being weird again. Well, you got that wrong babe, it should be, that’s Margaret, she must really loves me.