Today I popped up at 8:45am and I scared the crap out of my cat.
I had the weirdest dream. I was stuck in a weird universe with very light gravity, making every action slow mo, no matter how hard I tried to run, like of like in the movie, Interstellar. I was desperately trying to get home and I had to get out of a maze. Whenever I walked into a dead-end, I had to start over as if I’m in some kind of video game. My cat was with me but she was moving much quicker. And on my last round, I lost my cat so I had to redo the most recent level again, which was a spooky prison building that had a lot of homeless perverts lurking around trying to grab my cat.
That’s all I can recall. So glad my fuzzball is safe and sound despite being a little grouchy. I got up to pee while cat fell back asleep.
My usual train is at 7:40am for me to get into the office before 9am. The next train is at 9:40am, which means I’ll be late as hell, getting in around 11am. I’m going to have to drive to work today.
I squeezed my favorite citrus face wash into my finger tips and gently scrubbed my face. Sometimes life throws a lemon at you– in the mother-effing morning.
Back in my room, I slipped my legs into my cold jeans.
I used to base my self worth how independent I am and how strong my willpower is. Moving out here and being unable to drive confidently took a toll on my feelings of self worth. And I let toxic people tell me so too. I judged myself and allowed others to sense my insecurity and they judged me too.
I got in my car, the person behind me parked like an idiot, totally cornered me in tightly. I waited for my car to warm up a bit.
The thing is, I am independent. It’s not something I can change, nor is it a something I need to seek out, or prove. It’s who I am. And I’m going to drive to work today. Looking back, I feel so silly beating myself up.
Car’s warmed up, and I defrosted the windshield. Off I drive. 40 minutes later, I parked, pretty far from where my building is (due to lack of parking on campus), and I took the shuttle bus.
Anddddd I might have forgotten to lock my car! ahahahahahaha!